Break the Silence - Talk About It
You might think that something as simple as talking to a friend about abuse couldn’t possibly make a difference. But it really can. Just knowing that someone cares enough to ask about the abuse can break through the wall of isolation that can exit around victims of relationship abuse.

If you think a friend or loved one is being abused, talk to her about it. Listen to your friend. Let your friend know you care. You don’t have to be an expert. You just need to be a friend.

• Gently ask direct questions about the situation.
• Listen without judging.
• Tell your friend the abuse in not her/his fault.
• Emphasize that when your friend wants help, it is available. Explain that domestic violence tends to get worse and become more frequent with time and that it rarely goes away on its own.
• Explain that relationship abuse is a crime and that protection from the police or courts as well as from local domestic violence programs is available.
• Work with your friend to identify resources that can provide assistance, emotional support and build self-esteem.

If you want to talk with someone yourself to get advice about a particular situation, contact S.A.F.E. House.

Once you have brought the subject up, bring it up again. Try not to get frustrated if you reach out to a friend and she/he stays with the batterer or goes back to the partner. Ending any relationship is a process that takes time. Ending a violent relationship is even harder. Usually, the victim fears for her/his life; not wanting the children to grow up with a father/mother. Perhaps self-esteem is so damaged that your friend thinks she/he can’t make it without a partner or believes the abuser when told the violence is her/his fault. Or your friend just wants the violence to end, not the relationship.